During these High Holy Days, we have repeated the refrain during the Amidah prayers, Zochreinu l’chayim, “Remember us unto life.” How strange now at the end of it all, we remember people we loved, those who loved us, but have left us. They are gone.
During Yizkor we attempt to find meaning in death. This moment provides a resting point where we may pause and evaluate the meaning of our lives and theirs. It was a bond between imperfect people. They, like us, were full of faults, capable of great anger and great love. We forgive ourselves for how we behaved, for words not spoken, for unresolved events. We forgive our dead. They hurt us sometimes by what they said or did or what they did not say. If they were our parents, they did the best that they could. They did no less and no more. We are grateful for the gifts we gave and we received.